Blinking Fog (C)

Dear Strangers, it's C .

It feels like im blinking through fog. i can't see anything, it's all a disastrous mess..
i lost X, and i am still not over it, i'm still hurting, i'm still full of pain. it's cutting through me like winds these few days, seeing all my friends, all the people i hate, all the people bugging me about him. i hate it, i need to get out, which is why my family and i are probably going on a vacation soon. i hope we do i need out of this hell hole for just a week! and luckily J has been invited. i don't think i could go without her for a week.. i just i think i would actually die.. she's like my everything now. i don't have anything else. and i don't think i need anything. i have her, my brother, my rents and a couple other friends im good with. i have random aquaintences, but all i need is my best friend.
It hurts me more to see her upset. and lucky me, she's hurt. so here's the deal: J and I are alot alike in many ways. M is J's other best friend, and my good friend.
She's very stubborn, shy, ignorant, self concious, stunning girl i've ever met, and i like her alot. she's great! she's really fun when she lets her hair down. Shes quite protective of of her friends.. and it doesnt make her feel any better that shes leaving to move across the country in grade ten. sure shes excited to go but she doesnt want to be forgotten, or worse replaced. And thats where L (the new girl) ties into this whole situation. L is fabulous, EXACLTY like me and J and so much fun.
problem 1- she has the same name as M. which makes M furious
problem 2- she has the same initials as M. which makes M furious
problem 3- she is alot of fun and me and J really like her, Which makes M furious
problem 4-she looks a bit like M. which makes M furious
problem 5- she is taking out her stupid immature rage on J, who has not been anything but a friend to her. M does not understand thats she's not being replaced. L is just a sweet girl trying to make some new friends in a new school. she's really cool and we all agree that she could definitely become a close friend of ours. M disagress, and thinks L is trying to steal her light.. i understand were M is coming from, i mean c'mon. a new girl comes who looks like you and even has the same name... right before your about to leave.

anyone would be mad, but she doesn't need to be a bitch to J or L about it. she isn't a bitch to me cause she knows i won't take it. she is a total bitch to J because she knows how much J loves her and feels guilty. and shes a bitch to L because shes new. M has never even spoken a word to L and she claims she hates her.
we all love M and we dont ever wanna see her hurt, but she better start acting normal, or i'll snap.
she's hurting J more than necessary. j is always taking M's crap and for what? J has done NOTHING. and M better realise what shes doing to J cause shes really hurting her feelings.
along with mine.
i DON'T like to see my friends upset. and both J, M and L and i are upset.
this will not end well.